Our needs – our personal and collective needs inform healing
Welcome to our June Newsletter.
Happy Pride Month! In line with the month of shedding our binary bias, I have signed up with the wonderful team of Pearn Kandola for their series of webinars on the topic of LGBTQ+-friendly organisations. I am still struggling with my binary setup at times, and I am trying hard to change it. I usually start by reminding myself that I MAY BE WRONG, and that’s OK. I like those training sessions because they are inclusive and full of practical tips.
There is so much misconception about trauma work and handling heavy feelings. Traditionally we were told to open things up and assume that they will fall into the right places and we can move on. Or that those traumatic experiences of others do not touch us, and we can act as a blank page.
For those of us who work in coaching and counselling, primarily if we work in a group setting, facilitating endings is quite common, but I think it is a skill we can all benefit from. Helping others move through endings is a beautiful skill – it allows for safe spaces, kindness, understanding and sometimes a bit of challenge (in a good way).
Asking for help takes courage, but it pays off. You do not have to suffer alone; you do not need to carry a load of heavy feelings on your own. Reach out, ask for help, and ask for specific tips or practical help. Whatever you need to process the ending you are going through.
Earlier, I mentioned discussing endings, but sometimes the emotions are so tangled and heavy that it may be challenging to vocalise them. We may need other forms of communication – we can use creativity to express them or maybe work with our bodies – go for a walk, dance, shake it out or sit still and hold those feelings in our awareness. Remember that becoming aware of our emotions and finding ways to express them can feel healing.
That is precisely why we have developed rituals around grief, so why not include small rituals in other endings too? When I finish work with a client, I light a candle or burn wood in my garden. I pause and reflect on the work I am about to let go of and move forward from. I celebrate the connection with the client and the journey they are on too. Celebrating endings helps us externalise our strong and heavy feelings, which can feel healing.