“How to find a good therapist?” – Friends ask me this question quite often, and I remember being quite worried about this myself: how do I even start looking for a good therapist? How do I choose one suitable for my needs? How do I know they are professional enough to keep me safe and sound?
Ulrike Reinhard, one of our Advisory Board members, visited us last weekend in Bristol. It was lovely to catch up and reflect on her nomadic life of hers and on my plans for a more inclusive Voxel Hub. Her visit also reminded me of her recent podcast interview with Nix Asteri (also known as Dawid Presley), who in the past co-created some of the best initiatives for young people’s digital wellbeing that did (even before the name “Voxel Hub” was in use). Here is their conversation. Enjoy!
And finally, let’s talk about being wrong: what if the assumption that silence is violent in itself is wrong?
Notice the context and privilege the client.
We judge asking questions as “being nosy”, while, in my experience, many clients prefer specific questions over an excruciating silence.
Let’s name this: conforming with unhealthy norms for fear of being judged and punished too is a poor form of allyship – doing nothing contributes to the harm done.
This can be a very subtle form of violent silencing, almost unnoticed: a micro-aggression, refusal to celebrate someone’s achievements, highlighting difference over humanity with no specific reason but to other the individual – you can spot it the moment you sense the presence of an ego or power imbalance.
Broken people design and cultivate toxic, unsafe spaces where everyone is punished for joy, achievements, authenticity, agency and uniqueness. Those unhealthy spaces can make people feel uncomfortable in that toxic silence as it reinforces the harmful status quo and forces us to suffer moral injury.
We used to think that trauma was the actual act of violence or neglect, when in fact, it is the unspoken, unshared and unprocessed impact of those actions and events.
Welcome to our August Newsletter.
August tends to feel hectic to me: on the one hand, we all slow down, things feel quiet, and we are all supposed to be resting and taking time off; on the other hand, it’s gone before we know it! This summer silence comes with a wave of stress when things suddenly speed up in September. And we start to feel ever so low suddenly.
The silent treatment can be a form of trying to contain our emotions not to hurt the other person in the heat of the moment. However, it can also be a form of ignoring a person to communicate power over them.