Let’s name this: conforming with unhealthy norms for fear of being judged and punished too is a poor form of allyship – doing nothing contributes to the harm done.
This can be a very subtle form of violent silencing, almost unnoticed: a micro-aggression, refusal to celebrate someone’s achievements, highlighting difference over humanity with no specific reason but to other the individual – you can spot it the moment you sense the presence of an ego or power imbalance.
Broken people design and cultivate toxic, unsafe spaces where everyone is punished for joy, achievements, authenticity, agency and uniqueness. Those unhealthy spaces can make people feel uncomfortable in that toxic silence as it reinforces the harmful status quo and forces us to suffer moral injury.
We used to think that trauma was the actual act of violence or neglect, when in fact, it is the unspoken, unshared and unprocessed impact of those actions and events.
Welcome to our August Newsletter.
August tends to feel hectic to me: on the one hand, we all slow down, things feel quiet, and we are all supposed to be resting and taking time off; on the other hand, it’s gone before we know it! This summer silence comes with a wave of stress when things suddenly speed up in September. And we start to feel ever so low suddenly.
The silent treatment can be a form of trying to contain our emotions not to hurt the other person in the heat of the moment. However, it can also be a form of ignoring a person to communicate power over them.
As we come to the end of the month, we are exploring the silent period of holidays, and this inspired me to think about the times when silence is not healthy, in fact, when it can feel violent. First of all, let’s remind ourselves that violence and abuse can be silent.
I am so proud to share this incredibly important TEDx Talk delivered recently by our Advisory Board member, Lewis Wedlock. Whether you work with men or not, I think this one is worth a watch as it raises important issues about the mental health and wellbeing of so many people in our communities. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Lewis!
Welcome to our July Newsletter. I am writing this from a hotel room in Exeter this month, as I am finishing the last part of my counselling course. As I am standing on the edge of this life cycle (that is what I like to call the significant moments of my life journey), I feel the new phase on the horizon: another cycle is about to begin too. I am becoming a qualifying liberation counsellor soon, and I cannot be more humbled, excited and equipped. Eager to start the work in my own capacity and continue it for the charities I volunteer at as well.
Healing – We need to open up our healing processes to experimentation