Therapy is a costly service for many, so why do we come to therapy? Someone asked me this question recently in a private setting when I spoke of my career choices. So today, I am here to list a few reasons why my clients access therapy and why I am going to regular counselling too:
- (Self)-care – good therapy feels supportive of our ongoing life challenges. When we come to therapy and offload our most complex challenges, we simply feel lighter and happier. I put the word “self” in brackets because what we experience in therapy may fall under the category of self-care; however, it is collective care. It is the experience of being cared for: weekly or when we need it the most. Some people, like myself, like ongoing weekly therapy. Others return to it for “top-ups” when life becomes a little bit more challenging or maybe with new self-development goals. In any case, paying for therapy is as valuable as getting a good haircut, booking a holiday or going out for a fancy dinner. We paid for it because we are worth the care it offers.
- Healing – a kind and well-trained therapist offers invaluable support when we have mental health issues. Sometimes life feels too heavy. Also, let’s face it: life is often traumatic. The systems we live in are often designed by people who are no longer on this planet, thus do not accommodate the diversity of our contemporary experience. Some systems displace us, and we need to heal from this trauma, too. And often, clients pay for therapy to heal from wounds inflicted in their childhood, from intergenerational trauma and from many unwanted experiences. In any case, trusting a kind, well-trained professional may prove to be incredibly liberating.
- Feeling seen and witnessed (feeling less alone) – as opposed to the previous point, some suffering can also come from quiet abandonment and painful solitude. Going to therapy means that we have someone who witnesses our life, our ups and downs, our challenges, but also our wins. I would also like to highlight that the solitude I am referring to is an individual experience. Many well-meaning people in our lives may surround us, yet we may still feel misunderstood and alone. Going to good therapy offers an opportunity to start building a trusted connection with another person. What can also follow from this experience is a new way of forming healthier, more trusting, more helpful relationships outside of therapeutic space, too.
- Unconditional positive regard – this is the buzzword for respect regardless of our social positioning, our actions and our views. Therapists are expected to respect the client’s authentic life experience without bias or judgment. This doesn’t mean they will always agree or collude with you (which is why so many people these days find AI therapy so attractive). Quite the opposite. They take an external view of your life. They may name, challenge and call things out, but always to support a deeper understanding of what may be going on for you. They assist you in healing and aiming for more wellbeing in your life.
- Professional support – good therapists train extensively and invest a lot of money in their core and additional training. In fact, good therapists always continue their training and stay informed. People pay for therapy because it offers them access to professional, up-to-date mental health support. Therapists are trained to safeguard you and the people around you. They are trained to recognise emerging challenges and offer a menu of options to move forward. They offer psycho-education and can refer you to even more specialist support or help you form relevant conversations with your GP and other services.
These are the top five reasons people pay for therapy that I have observed in my private and professional life. Of course, the decision to dedicate a significant chunk of our weekly or monthly budget to this support is incredibly individual, just as the return on such investment is our health and wellbeing.
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