Recognising when your boundaries as a coach are becoming too fluid is crucial for maintaining professionalism, objectivity, and your own well-being. This process can be particularly difficult in online environments, so to protect your digital wellbeing, let’s look at some tips for recalibrating those boundaries.
First, here are key signs and reflective practices to help you notice when boundaries may be blurring:
- You’re frequently exceeding agreed session times or allowing sessions to run over without a clear reason. This can signal a lack of respect for time commitments and may set a precedent that boundaries are negotiable. It’s not safe for the client, and it impacts the coaching container.
- You find yourself caring “too much” or feeling overly responsible for your client’s outcomes. When you’re leaning in too much and emotional investment starts to resemble that of a caretaker or rescuer, it’s a sign boundaries are shifting from supportive to enmeshed.
- You’re slipping into other roles (friend, mentor, therapist) without clear communication or agreement. If your relationship with the client starts to feel more like a friendship or advisory role, or if you’re offering advice or support outside the coaching contract, boundaries may be unclear.
- You’re responding to client requests or messages outside of agreed-upon communication channels or hours. If you feel pressure to be constantly available, this can lead to burnout and confusion about the professional nature of the relationship. It’s not modelling good boundaries for the client.
- You notice internal discomfort, resentment, or exhaustion after sessions. These feelings can be hard to spot and often arise when your needs or limits are being overlooked, indicating that boundaries need to be reinforced.
- You’re struggling to maintain professional objectivity. There’s no such thing as objectivity in liberation work. However, it may be helpful to maintain a professional perspective. If your personal feelings or preferences are influencing your coaching, or you’re finding it hard to remain unbiased, boundaries may be too fluid.
- There’s a conflict of interest or dual relationship (e.g., coaching a colleague or friend), and you feel unsure about how to navigate it. This complexity can blur boundaries, so it requires careful reflection and additional supervision support.
Reflective Practices to Catch Fluid Boundaries Early
- Regularly reflect on your own triggers, values, and needs as a coach. Self-awareness and self-care (incl. collective care) are key to recognising when you’re at risk of overstepping or letting boundaries slip.
- Use supervision or peer consultation to discuss complex dynamics. Discussing your experiences with a supervisor can help you identify blind spots and regain clarity.
- Consider the client’s experience, your own experience, and the relationship as a whole (Seven-Eyed Supervision Model). This holistic view helps you spot subtle shifts in boundaries before they become problematic.
When you notice any of these signs, it’s essential to pause, reflect, and take corrective action, such as re-contracting with your client, seeking supervision, or resetting expectations, to restore healthy boundaries and maintain the integrity of the coaching relationship.
We would love to hear from you. What are your tips on how to reset boundaries if you notice they’ve become too fluid?
This post is part of an AI experiment. It was generated with Perplexity.ai Pro (Sonar model) and edited by me.
Why? We regularly test new technologies to enhance our own digital literacy and investigate their impact on our wellbeing.
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