“How do I prepare for my counselling session?” is the most common question I get asked in our free consultations. Today, I would like to list my ideas, hoping they can provide a bit of soothing before the first session and points to consider for ongoing attendance.
Preparing for the first session
(1) Acknowledge, normalise and soothe the anxiety – please remember that it’s a healthy emotional reaction to be apprehensive before the first session. You don’t know me yet, and maybe this is your first counselling session ever, so you do not have the experience of a therapeutic conversation. It’s natural to feel uneasy; however, I recommend tending to those feelings in your usual way – how do you soothe your anxiety? Maybe bringing a warm drink to the session or going for a short walk in Nature to regulate your nervous system can be helpful? Many of my clients bring their pets to the session – why not invite them in to the first one?
(2) Imagine that your therapist is also feeling some level of anxiety, which is human – I will hold that feeling for myself, and I will also support your feelings in our session. However, it may be helpful to remember that this feeling is normal, as we are both entering a new conversation and a new (working or practising) relationship.
(3) Allow a lot of time for the transition into the session – make time to arrive on time and have more space to rest before entering the room. The same principle applies to online sessions on Zoom, and I would even say we need to pay closer attention to those transitions. Just because we are a click away from our counselling session doesn’t mean our minds and bodies won’t need time to adjust. So plan time to arrive on time, but also plan a moment of mindful reflection just before the session. My city office is in a beautiful square where you can sit on a bench for a moment and breathe. For online sessions, I recommend starting to develop an arrival routine. I myself always sit down for a session 10-15 minutes in advance, check my notes, open Zoom, stretch and check if I have my water too.
(4) Bring your anticipatory anxiety into the session – share it with me when you arrive, let’s talk about it. Naming what is happening in the space between us is at the heart of our therapeutic conversations, so why not start there? It’s my job to support you with your feelings, so you are very welcome to start our sessions there.
(5) Email me if you are feeling very anxious and worried about the first sessions – I always invite questions over email, and I can respond to many of those, so please email away. I would prefer that you have support for the first session in advance, rather than feeling too overwhelmed and suffering. Please just ask!
Preparing for regular sessions
(1) Honour your session time in the week – the regularity of your sessions is also a healing aspect of counselling, so notice how you may want to start prioritising this time in the week. Think about the day of your therapy session, the few hours in advance and the time afterwards. How do those sessions fit into your life? How can you make the most of the time spent in counselling for the ongoing process? Some clients really enjoy journaling and discussing their therapeutic journey with trusted friends. Some clients like to spend a few minutes or hours after the session simply sitting with the emotions and processing them – even while engaging in their hobbies. And some clients prefer to come to the session, experience counselling, and then leave all of that in the session. In any case, please consider how that therapeutic time fits into your weekly routine.
(2) Make time for arrival – the time boundaries of your sessions are also designed to create a healthy, contained space for healing and wellbeing, but the moments before the session are also quite precious, so make a little bit of time to settle down.
(3) Prepare your body and mind for therapy – bring a snack and a drink if you need it; check if you have appropriate clothing and enough oxygen in your room to feel relaxed. This is especially important when working on Zoom – to protect our health and posture. If we are meeting outdoors, do check the weather app and public transport. Bring appropriate clothing and water, so that we can have an uninterrupted conversation. Plan for 50 or 60 minutes of sitting, so find a comfortable, private place.
(4) Bring your intentions and goals, but also wins – if you like to set goals or intentions, or if something happens that you wish to explore in our sessions that week, make a note of it and bring it in. If you like to do homework, journal, or engage in mindful practices between sessions, bring your updates, reactions, or notes. This also includes the art you make, the photos you may wish to share, and other artefacts. In trauma recovery, it can be difficult to access positive emotions, so I also invite bringing in celebrations, achievements and wins. My clients also know that when this happens, I like to get up and do a “Happy Dance” to celebrate you. Therapy is often heavy, and we speak of many negative experiences, so to stabilise ourselves, to keep safe, but also to get better, we need to allow and practice small celebrations.
(5) Bring your questions and feedback – I like to be challenged, and I like to offer information (in our industry called psycho-education), so bring your questions. If I cannot answer those, I will find out more or direct you to the right sources. If you are feeling the need to shift how we work (check out this free ebook on counselling preferences) or have any form of feedback for me – especially what you would like to see more of – please bring that into the session too.
These are the considerations on how to prepare for the first and all other counselling sessions. I am sure there is more, so I will continue blogging about it.
In the meantime, if you are new to this space and may need support, I invite you to book a free consultation here. Thank you for reading!
